You aren’t the only one.

It’s why I started a certain thread. It’s why I asked a question.

I was afraid to even ask.

And yet some pretty awesome stuff came from that asking. But not all agreed. This issue is too divisive and too painful. One group is dying and another wants to talk and understand. I get how hard that is for those afraid to walk to work or that their children might not make it home from school. They are dying and some of us have questions.

Now add in appropriation and my white ass wants to run away.

I also suck at negative responses to my work. Or no responses.

But I’m now contemplating doing a photo piece about privilege and racism that I expect will upset many.

I’m scared of doing it.

Like you, I know it will generate conflict. Worse, it might be viewed as hurtful by those I wish to help.

I think, fuck – I hope it’s about baby steps. And that one of those is about acknowledging the pain. And then deciding if what you are called to write is worth it.

As Randomly Me points out, it can be quite painful. There is no space where you share your thoughts publicly that you won’t get hurt.

I have a highly supportive writers group of three old and dear friends. We have a crazy pact of demonstrated support. And yet I got hurt by their reactions to one piece. It took me months to bring it up and talk about that hurt. But it affected what I could bring there until we did talk.

I’m starting to think of public writing as walking on a razors edge. It cuts us. More than any can know. And it’s about building new capabilities to handle rejection and deal with our issues more than any skill in writing.

But there is always a pressure to conform in any social gathering.

There is also an opportunity to learn and grow.

The hard part is the hurt and confusion and denial and when the fuck to question ourselves and when to stand firm and when to hide and recuperate.

Not sure if this is helpful. Lol. It was for me. ;)