Time to Delete the Pokemon
Pokemon Go makes me a horrible person.
I grow frustrated when my dog attempts to investigate something, throwing off my aim as I toss endless balls at some snivelling pokey-creature.
I scream in fury when it takes seven razz berries and 37 balls to then LOSE an amazing pokemon.
I ignore my partner, my Mom and my friends. It is ALL ABOUT THE POKEMON!
It is past 1am and I am driving like a maniac. I swerve suddenly to the side of the road, growling and backing the car up in order to spin the pokestop and gain some much-needed pokeballs. A pedestrian screams at me for almost hitting her and her dog, but I don’t even hear them. I am already searching for the next pokestop.
My partner and dog have no idea where I am. I said nothing before racing out the house with my keys, a distance pokey-fucking-mon-gym sighted on my screen.
I almost peel out as I swurve my car back onto Danforth Avenue. I’m going to find a fucking gym with a space for my pokemon if it’s the last thing I do.
It’s now 2am and I’m somewhere in the far reaches of Scarborough. I chose to move away from downtown, figuring all the snivelling downtown Toronto fuckers had taken all the good gym spots. Only to find out that the bastard addicts of Scarborough had done the same. Every gym was full of impossible to defeat 10,000 point demons.
Days spent collecting items, fighting to level up my character and her pokemons. All to no avail.
At night I would play from bed, trying not to wake up my partner, hopeful that I might catch some stray little pokey-devil wandering down the sidewalk outside our home.
In less than three days I had become a horrible excuse for a human being, ignoring my cat, my dog, my clients and basic necessities like food and washing just to throw balls at annoying little sprites on my iPhone.
And the worst part is there is no frigging story in this game. It is nothing but a series of addiction triggers stacked on top of other addiction triggers. And I was hooked.
My only saving grace was that I grew so frustrated that night out in the car that I was able to hit “delete” in a moment of weakness.
And only now realizing that it has been days since I’ve walked anywhere without staring down at my phone.
Please don’t let me install that game again. Though I do feel the itch. I totally could have made it to level 12!!!
