Hi Tessa,

I tried to put a lot of support in what I wrote. On a lot of topics.

I hear you about that one statement.

And I know you are not being disrespectful or unkind to me and I hope you indeed know I am trying to be kind and supportive to you.

But us having a bad reaction to something while people are dying is the same thing as the statement I wrote. I know that sucks. But it’s sort of the reality, at least for them. We have a choice. We can choose to not get involved (for now).

I don’t want to start a thread of finger pointing. I really don’t. Or make anyone feel bad. I was simply trying to provide advice that has helped me to move to a position of support and begin to explore the voice I can have on this issue.

Here’s what helped me: speaking to Black Americans about their fears. It is a little shocking, or it was for me. I talk to a lot of people (many hundreds) about their fears in my podcasts, writing and work. And almost everyone has the same fears.

But once I began including people who weren’t in my immediate circle, their fears were … nothing short of insane from how I live in this world.

They have to have “the talk” with their children at a VERY young age about how not to get shot by the police. This is a real thing. And they fret about it constantly.

They have to be careful going to the corner store or stopping on the side of the road when their car breaks down. Hell, even sitting on the ground with their hands in the air isn’t enough to save them.

The list goes on. There’s some amazing writers here sharing their fears and what it’s like to live in this world day-to-day with black skin.

And you are right, there are lots of people dying. But these are my brothers and sisters in the land where I was born fighting a war against a state that seems intent on persecuting them with violent and deadly force.

So just understand that they may not have a lot of time or patience to provide more evidence to us whites or answer questions.